Sunday 24 June 2012

Looking in the mirror, what do you see?

We all have those days where you get up and all you feel like wearing is a tracksuit, and then when you are walking down the street in that said tracksuit your brains keeps sending you pictures of yourself in a hessian sack (even if your tracksuit is pink and sparkly...)
When you just feel BLAH - out of touch with your mental self, and most definitely your physical self. You start to doubt your inner and outer beauty and see yourself on a downward spiral. Now for most people this leads to two paths - comfort eating, or restrictive eating. One is used as a means to soothe, calm, and quell those negative voices by making yourself feel special with 'special' foods. The other one is a used as a means to regain control of your life, to pull yourself out of your down space by taking control of your food and thus metaphorically, your life.
For some it is using alcohol or drugs to escape and create a new reality where life is good. Whatever the poison, it is all our mind trying to trick us into 'fixing' the situation, when it was our mind that got us there in the first place!


Why is it that one day you can wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and see a bright, shining, goddess of a woman, and then the very next day see an out of proportion, jaded, and fuzzy version of that same goddess? Logically, we can't have physically changed that extremely in one day but yet our mind projects the image that we have... That in 24 hours we have gained 5kgs and suddenly need to take count of all our sins in the last 2 weeks. If you step back it really doesn't make any sense. And everyone else around you sees you as the same beautiful person you always are. But as our thoughts and minds created the negative body images in the first place, our own thoughts are the only way out - no matter how many reassurances you seek and hear from outside people, until you rewire your own thoughts you will remain jaded.


Sometimes we let outside influences get to us. We pick up a copy of Cosmo and stare aimlessly at the endless pictures of airbrushed woman posing walking a dog down the street. If it took that much effort to get myself ready to walk the dog I would probably never leave the house! But we see these pictures and unconsciously discriminate against ourselves for not fitting the mould. We may be feeling down about a lack of focus or goals in our career and as a result berate and blame our appearance for our downfall.


But I truly, honestly, and genuinely believe that we do not need a certain physicality to succeed in life. I believe in nourishing, nurturing, and respecting my body by feeding it foods filled with life force and love, as well as giving it fresh air and using my muscles as they were built to be used. But that doesn't mean a specific look or build. It means going inside and making choices based on truly wanting the best for our selves as a whole. In loving ourselves so much that we can't help but treat ourselves with joy and goodness! We need to get out of our own heads (myself included!) and see the bigger picture of beauty. It is truly of our own making. Why is it that one person can be attracted to one and not another? Because our mind tells us what we classify as beautiful and what is not. But when we start to remove those classifications and see beauty as universal - in that it extends across merely physicality to the other states of being and life on this planet- we tap into that place of acceptance with ourselves and everyone around us.


If it is so simple as just making the choice to see myself as worthy of being beautiful why don't I just choose that everyday? I don't know, but I really don't see why I shouldn't at the same time!

Sunday 3 June 2012

Fearlessness

Sometimes we lose contact with ourselves. Sometimes we stand slightly a step outside and behind the light. And when that happens everything gets hazy. I noticed the other day that I have created a pattern for myself unconsciously - a cycle of ups and downs no matter where I am in the world. I am sure that in the beginning these were valid feelings that came about because of an actual event but now they seem to appear even without an actual reason. It is habitual and subconsciously it has become my way of operating or coping.These feelings of inadequacy that pull me down don't feel right, when I am there I don't feel like 'Allyce' and I know they are not really apart of my true self.


Because the real Allyce dives in head first. The real Allyce goes off to explore and finds hidden treasures. The real Allyce acknowledges these lower emotions and thought forms and doesn't judge them or get caught up in them but simply observes them as they move through and past her.
But it takes fearlessness to step back into life. Courage to go past the little 'woe is me' voices and jump into the unknown. Remember when you were a kid and you used to run and throw yourself into the pool without even a second thought? How rollerblading down a big hill was exhilarating even if you skated into a tree on the way?


Fearless.


Once you embrace it and feel it, oh man it is an amazing feeling. You can find freedom in your fearlessness. And I guess as always it has to do with surrendering right? Because you have to let go to have the courage to jump in. You have to bypass all those little no voices and take the leap anyway.
And boy I feel like my last couple of years have been all about jumping in the pool headfirst. Moving to live in countries that are out of our comfort zones, being in a job where it is constantly changing and unpredictable, and living away from your nearest and dearest for long amounts of time forces you to spend time with YOU and as a result every little deep dark corner of you as well =)


But if we choose to be fearless in that darkness, if we choose to step out of our little huts and into the great outdoors - wow, see how much there is to find and discover! We will all step outside at some point, but it is up to us how long we want to spend inside before we take that step. Yes of course it is scary, but if you acknowledge that you are scared and that it is unknown then you have already given yourself permission to move past those feelings and find MORE.
So I make the decision to choose simplicity, ease, peace, and most importantly, joy. And to find that I will step outside, off the ledge, and out into the unknown. Fearlessly. Because life is so much simpler when I don't cloud my head with ifs, ands, or buts and peace is found in the release of fear =)
GO!

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